Kagome's Diary
by umigara
Summary: Kagome writes some stuff about her life down... She finally admits that she loves Inuyasha, but does he love her back? Chapter 3's up! x)
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,  
  
My life is a living hell. At school, my friends are trying to fix me up with Hojo. I have that Inuyasha to deal with, and my parents, well, they don't understand me (well my dad at least). Take last night as an example. I got home at 11:45 PM. I had told my parents that I'd be out late. As soon as I walked through the front door, Souta immediately shouted out, "Hey, Mom! Kagome's home!" I expected my mom to come scolding me about being home so late, but to my surprise, she didn't.  
  
It was my dad who came rushing out in fury. "Kagome Higurashi! How dare you?!" he bellowed. I was perplexed. "I'm sorry! I told you that I'd be out late tonight. I was taking the night shift of my job!" My mom came in. I half-expected her to scold me along with my infuriated father. But I was wrong. She had come to rescue me. "Let it go." She tried to soothe my father's anger. "Kagome is a responsible young lady. She had to do what she had to do." Souta was watching this whole dispute. "Souta, go to bed," my father demanded, "NOW!" Souta instantly bolted up the stairs and went straight to bed. He didn't want to have to deal with an angry dad.  
  
Once Souta was upstairs, my dad began quarrelling with my mom again. "Kagome might be responsible, but it's a school night! She shouldn't be out this late!" he said. My mother responded with, "Yes, it's true that she shouldn't be out this late, but she had a job to do! You should be proud of her! She's living up to her responsibilities. Kagome, did you do your homework yet?" I responded with a nod. "See?" she argued, "Kagome is keeping up with her schoolwork and her job. You should be proud of her!" Dad hesitated before he said anything else. "Kagome has been out this late for the past 3 days. W-" I interrupted him. "My boss assigned me to the night shift for this week! That's why! If you only listened to me sometimes, you'd know this! You never listen to me! You don't understand what it's like to be a teenager! It's harder than you think, you know!" With that, I ran up to my room and cried myself to sleep.  
  
Mom is the only one who understands how I feel. When I am down in the dumps, I know that I can always go to her comfort. She might not have the best advice ever, but she tries to help me, and that's what counts. Dad is just. so frustrating. he just doesn't understand. One of the things I dislike about him is his temper. He can't control it, and he usually takes it out on me or Souta. Souta. well, he's my little brother, and he can get as annoying as little brothers can get. But I still love him. Grandpa usually isn't involved in these arguments. He is one of those people who just sits in the sidelines, not knowing what to do. He doesn't know whether to comfort me or to scold me. But no matter what he does, I know that he cares, and that's why I love him. I mean, I love my whole family and all, but sometimes, it seems like Dad doesn't deserve to be loved. Sometimes, it seems like he doesn't love me. and that's why we always have these arguments.  
  
This morning, I went to school with puffy red eyes. Ayumi came up to me and immediately stopped walking. "Kagome. Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. "I'm fine." I responded, without showing any emotions. I was thinking of going to Sango for help, but then I realized that I'd have to face Inuyasha. He'd have a fit if he knew what I was going through. Besides, he doesn't care about me. He cares about Kikyo.  
  
I hate that Inuyasha! He thinks he's all that and everything! I. I. I. Who am I kidding? There's really no use denying it. I don't hate him, or even dislike him, I love Inuyasha. I love the way his silver hair glistens in the moonlight. I love his amber eyes, which are just so full of emotion and meaning. He may seem to be cold and uncaring, but I know that he's really just a frightened, lost puppy. I mean, Hojo isn't bad or anything. I know he likes me, and I like him, too, just not in that way. He's really nice, he's handsome, and he's smart, but he's not Inuyasha.  
  
I've loved him since I looked at him. I can't believe that I'm only admitting this now, and to myself, too! If only I could tell him how I feel. But even if I did, what difference will it make? He's still in love with Kikyo. I know I can't change his past. But I also believe that we can determine our own destiny... Now the question is who is right for him? Me, or Kikyo? I'm gonna end my entry here. Until the next time!  
  
- Kagome Higurashi 


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,  
  
It's my 16th birthday, and what am I doing? I'm sitting here thinking of Inuyasha. He had broken my heart after he chose Kikyo. Every time he calls me a wench, I get emotionally hurt, even if I know he doesn't mean it. No matter how many times he calls me that. I don't know anymore. Does he really love me?  
  
I still remember the first time I saw him. It's been a year now, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. He was pinned to the Sacred Tree by Kikyo's arrow. I was immediately attracted to him. I just had to touch his cute little dog ears. Suddenly, a flurry of arrows flew right past me! After finding out that I was good, the villagers apologized and I went to Kaede's hut. She explained everything to me. But I couldn't help thinking about that strange boy with silver hair and dog ears. Little did I know that I'd be saved by him, attacked by him, then have to travel with him looking for the Jewel Shards.  
  
GAH! Why am I spending my sweet sixteenth birthday in my room thinking of Inuyasha?! I should be out with my friends celebrating! Instead, I'm sitting here thinking about him.. He doesn't love me.. He's just using me to get the Shikon no Tama.. Once it's complete, he'll take it and I'll never see him again. I won't see any of them again... I'll never see Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kaede, or any of them anymore.I can't bear the thought of that happening. I can't let that happen! But I also want Inuyasha to be happy.. I don't know what to do anymore.  
  
-Kagome Higurashi 


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

I've gone through so much since I last wrote. I've decided to give Hojo a shot. I mean, he loves me. I should as least give him a chance, right? Hojo.. he doesn't treat me bad or anything. In fact, I don't think I deserve him! He offers me everything a girl could possibly want, but I don't.. want any of that. I mean, any girl would be lucky to have him. But.. he's not the one that I truly love..... Inuyasha.. He's still so cold to me. I know I should tell him what I feel, but what if he doesn't love me? That's really gonna kill me. But what's worse, telling someone you love them and getting rejected, or not telling them anything at all and wishing you did?

So we've finally graduated high school and we're going to be moving on to college... That means I'll have less time to jump between eras. What'll happen with the Shikon Jewel? All I know is that He will still go around fighting demons, and looking for pieces of it. And Miroku, Sango, and Shippou will follow him, that's for sure. But what about me? Will they just forget about me and move on?

Who knows... Maybe one day, I'll become famous, I'll have the attention of all the guys. Maybe even.. Him.. ::sigh:: It's too good to be true.. What's wrong with me? Why can't I get his attention? I know I'm not the most beautiful girl ever, and I'm not the smartest one or the most athletic one. But what can get him to just notice me? Why does he act like he hates me? ::sigh:: I have way too many questions. --

Well, on a brighter note, there's this guy that I just met. His name is Ginta and he is a major hottie. His family just moved here from Kyoto and he lives a couple of blocks from here. He's 5"10', with silky chestnut brown hair that I'd just love to run my hands through. His hazel eyes are so deep and full of meaning. He's pretty well-built, too. I hear that he plays tennis every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. Every single girl in town has just taken up tennis. What a surprise.. Wow, sounds like every girl's dream, doesn't it? Well, its every girl, but mine's dream. I am so totally in love with Inuyasha that I can't even think of loving this new guy. But I hear that the one he likes is.. me.. oO

I've been so positive and upbeat lately. It's hard to believe that I was ever down. Everything just seems to be going my way, except for love. But.. love can wait. If we were meant to be, He'll wait for me. If we weren't, then, I guess that's that, isn't it. I'll always love him, no matter what. I'll wait for him... no matter what. And as long as I have such great friends by my side, I know that I can make it.

Oh yea, Shippou wrote me the cutest poem the other day.

'_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I think you're amazing._

_Really, I do!'_

Isn't he the sweetest little thing? I'm really gonna miss hanging out with him, taking care of him, and being like a mother to him. He's a great little demon.

Also, Sango is finally starting to give Miroku a chance. She's realizing that he really DOES love her, and he was willing to change for her.

Well, I have a date with Hojo. We're going to see '50 First Dates' and then go to dinner after at that new Italian restaurant. He's so sweet, but he still can't compare to Inu-chan. Ok, I'm gotta go pick out an outfit.

-Kagome Higurashi


End file.
